Is change good? Is change imminent? Is change inevitable? Is change so important that I am bombarding my conscience with these many questions about it? A lack of change can invite few woes in your life. You need to change with time because the problem is if you don’t, the ones around you will, and you’ll be left behind.
“Change is the only constant.” We keep hearing this all the time yet, somehow, it makes sense only when things go haywire. When someone near/dear behaves indifferent (or you perceive them to be indifferent) is when you realize that a significant amount of change has taken place. It could have been the dear one, or you, or both of you who would have changed, but the problem arose because not everything was the same anymore. Before I confuse everyone with a detailed explanation of what I am trying to present, let me start again by saying, ‘everybody changes.’
If everyone changes, then what’s the problem? It’s a problem when change transforms people in different ways. In a relationship, when two people change based on their individual life experiences, they may not be compatible anymore. If personalities, attitudes, and behaviors change drastically, there is nothing that can be done to salvage the relationship. You are a complete fool if you believe the change is not going to affect the relationship. It will, whether you like it or not.
Have you ever felt the difference in a relationship that started in your school years and has not continued till your 30s or even more? Do you think it lasted because you all didn’t change? Absolutely, not. You all changed and matured in a way that helped accommodate each other. You grew together; the relationship evolved in a healthy way. Now all this sounds great- the harmony, the maturity, the everything that fits well. But…Sadly, in reality, not every relationship blossoms that way, and that leads to great disappointments when you realize that one or both persons have changed in ways that cannot work together anymore.
When individuals go through different life experiences, they are moulded and shaped differently. Some might get pompous with wealth while others learn to embrace humility. Some get weak and others show strength. Whatever may it be, things change and so do people. The young ‘you’ is not the old ‘you.’ What didn’t bother you in the past might be a trigger for negative emotions today. You learn to value yourself- your mental peace and health. You automatically find ways to protect yourself from the big bad world. In this process, you learn to shun the wrong kind of people. The ones that disrupt your well-being. It doesn’t matter how many years it took for the relationship to thrive. If it jeopardizes your value or things that matter to you, you will block it. In this process, you bring about a major ‘change.’
It’s tricky to say if change in a relationship is good or bad. If a change makes a person better, in terms of morals, human values and positivity, then the change is good for that relationship, irrespective of how another might perceive him/her to be. But, if a change brings out the worst in a person – one who carries negativity and has the power to cause pain to others (intentional and unintentional) in order to support one’s selfish needs, then, obviously, you know that the relationship wouldn’t last. With time, in a relationship, if a person changes for his/her betterment , then that relationship stays unaffected even if the other person does not change (assuming the other person was not terrible to begin with. Or, maybe they were terrible but you sort of realized that later, then that’s another dimension. You’ll ditch them anyway!)
To sum it up – yes, change is inevitable. Change is imminent and yes, it might suck. But, hey, everything is for the best!
