Do you have that feeling in life, many years after school and college and maybe after a few years of work experience too, say in your 30s where you feel that life has changed to an extent beyond your imagination. When friendships that were your backbone at one time, seem so aloof now. You may still be connected and well in touch with them but are you really still connected at the same level at which you once were? If you are single and your friends are married, (or vice-versa) the answer is a clear ‘no’.
A fact that I used to always be in denial of, was that friendships change with time. I used to be (probably still am) of the belief that close friends are there for each other forever. I mean what is there to change? We are well connected thanks to technology. I mean we have Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram right? We get to know about each other’s life events through these mediums. So yes, aren’t we all together? Technically, yes we are. But, is that connection holding you strong in life? Everyone has different lives to live and with marriage comes new priorities. It’s then that tables turn and perception of life changes.
As a single,in my closest group of married friends, there are countless times I have felt that my best friends who once understood me, no longer do. I somehow fail to connect with them. I somehow feel left out at so many instances in spite of no deliberate alienation from their end. I don’t have married things to share or in fact have nothing to share because we somehow are sailing on different boats. I feel my daily life and feelings are in fact so trivial at the same time so deep at an emotional level that another friend will not understand unless they are going through a similar phase like mine which might not happen if they are married. No matter how much you still believe that things are normal and people are the same, you will be faced with hurtful occurrences of disregards to convince you to think otherwise.
To make matters worse, singles are misjudged by society too and if you are a 30 something single woman, let’s just say the mass country lockdown is in fact the world being nice to you. You are buying yourself a few weeks of zero criticism and judgement. With societal and family pressure, you ultimately shape yourself to become a zero tolerant, self-sufficient woman who cannot take any form of neglect. Even the faintest of behavioural change by anyone close to you is perceived differently and finally you draw yourself from it. You become sensitive at the same time you become a real toughie. You somehow believe that if you are no longer of importance to the very people who you believed were important to you, you reassess and no longer wish to associate. You easily disassociate from packs. You become an easy misfit and you continuously battle it out.
We all know this is not a problem that needs a solution. This little piece is only a reflection of how me and many like me are going through. This is the way of life. You either move together as long as you all are in similar boats else you sail separately…
