‘How much is too much?’
‘Don’t cross your boundaries.’
Bend, don’t break.’
Does it have any significance in today’s world? A world where you tend to cut off any person that tends to disturb your mojo. If you think about it, it’s sad to know how people lose significance in another person’s life at the drop of a hat but, what if the person deserves to be treated that way? What if they really did break and not just bend? Is the action justified?
‘Tolerance’ : what a powerful, magnificent virtue a person can possess. A tolerant person becomes the ‘go-to guy’, a person who listens and absorbs everything that the world offers. Good, bad or neutral, all seems to sink in quite comfortably, or so it seems. Unless you are a hermit or someone who doesn’t care about anyone (no ties with family or loved ones), there is a limit beyond which even the most tolerant person in the world is going to lose their shit. Because he is only human.
It’s funny how many people don’t identify boundaries. They probably don’t understand that it exists. They feel that an emotional bond with someone gives them a free passage to cross and play with their emotions. “Oh, buttons! Let’s push some of them. Why, ‘some’? Let’s push all of them! The wrong ones ought to be there.”
People would have had it easy if they knew about what not to push (the restricted buttons). While, a sensible person would be aware of matters that are dicey and should not be frivolously dealt with, the numbnuts are ignorant of that. Most people don’t realize that they got through a lot of blunders in interpersonal relationship skills because they didn’t have many people with whom they had a strong emotional bond. Either that or simply because their listeners were tolerant, which makes it even more sacred to learn about their buttons, so that they simply don’t push them.
Any dent that is deliberately made (by loved ones) against one’s self-respect deserves zero tolerance. If you have been the kind who had tolerated such instances in the past, then you must know that you are one step closer to blowing your steam in the future. We don’t want to get there because the repercussions that’ll follow such an action will be unpleasant. Mostly, unpleasant for the person who caused it. The tolerant person will get past it in a way that will work out best for them, but the person responsible for it will live with regret (not sure eternally, though).
It might be self-respect for one or a dark back story for another, there are myriad buttons that need no nudge. If you are their loved one, understand what they are and behave accordingly. Empathy (which I have emphasized in my previous posts) is something everyone can practice. Even if you’re dealing with the strongest and tolerant person in the world, empathy works on them too. So, if you are the kind that is most likely to piss someone off, you better watch it. You might want to have some form of restraint- it’s for your own welfare. And, to those who are tolerant, it is ok to lose your cool more often. You are under no obligation to take shit after shit. You can stay away from it – it’s for your own good.
